The story of one chronically anxious woman’s attempt to become braver, one insanely awkward adventure at a time.

For most of my adult life, I struggled with anxiety, thinking it was normal. When I was 40, I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety and realized, “Oh. So some people don’t have a constant stream of worst-case scenarios playing in their heads. Cool cool cool.”

Four years later, my anxiety came to a head in a giant two-day panic attack, after which I stepped down from my job as host of a nationally syndicated public radio show.

I’d lost something huge, so I spent a year doing things that scared me to teach my anxious brain that everything was going to be okay.

They were little things—a sensory deprivation tank, getting high at work, going to a professional cuddler, braving twenty-eight first dates, and taking a fellatio class to improve my odds of getting second dates.*

Read the book to find out how it all turned out. Or don’t. I don’t want to sound pushy. Did that sound pushy?


*Not really. I mean, I took the class, but only because I’ve always been an overachiever and I have an oral fixation.

“It’s a rare writer who is as frank, funny, and smart as Courtenay Hameister is on the page, and in Okay Fine Whatever her talent for all of these things is on full display. I was moved by Hameister’s vulnerability as she wrote about her long-time struggles with her weight, her anxiety, and her search for love, and I was gobsmacked by the fearlessness with which she set out to do the varied, wild, strange things she thought would cure her of her deepest sorrows. I never wanted to put down Okay Fine Whatever. It’s one of those books that takes you into its grips. It reads like an adventure novel and a secret whispered into your ear. It felt true to me and alive and real, like on every page I was witnessing someone who finally made good on an ancient dare. I loved this book. I think you will too.”

Cheryl Strayed 

New York Times bestselling author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things

“A witty, wise call-to-arms for the anxiety-ridden in a period when we’re more anxious than ever. A timely book for these end-of-times times.”

John Hodgman

New York Times bestselling author of Vacationland

“The author not only chronicles how she faced her inner demons and won; she also offers a reminder that doing even the smallest thing to conquer fear ‘is enough to change a lot.’ A fresh, intelligent memoir.”

— Kirkus Reviews 

“Inspiring, poignant and laugh-out-loud funny.”


“Inspiring from the first pages. Courtenay fearlessly lets us into her head; she didn’t clean up in there before company came over, and I am so glad. Her risk-taking adventures in career and love are more stirring to me than any daring physical feat. You’ll root for Courtenay while reading and in your spare time too.”

 Jen Kirkman

New York Times bestselling author of I Know What I’m Doing

“Courtenay deftly executes one of the most difficult feats for a writer: she makes the smallest moments vivid, meaningful, and laugh-out-loud funny. You’ll be rooting for her the whole way, and she’ll surprise you at every turn with her fortitude, her sparkling feats of fearlessness preserved in riotous detail, and her joie de anxiety.”

 Annabelle Gurwitch

New York Times bestselling author of Wherever You Go, There They Are

“I loved this book so hard. Courtenay Hameister makes me feel thrilled to be alive-even though most things in life scare the crap out of me so much it’s hard for me to walk out of my own front door. Okay Fine Whatever is a brilliant testament to the fire of the spirit for misfits and scaredy pants everywhere. A soul triumph. A reason to live.”

 Lidia Yuknavitch

Author of The Book of Joan

“Courtenay Hameister is one of the funniest, sharpest writers I know. Her work is confessional, witty, and laugh-out-loud hilarious. I love her.”

 Chelsea Cain

New York Times bestselling author of Heartsick and One Kick

“Vaguely embarrassed posers who think they know from humiliation, step aside – the somewhat intrepid yet thoroughly original and hilarious Courtenay Hameister is our new patron saint of the bizarre life experience. Readers everywhere will be super grateful to her for doing all this awkward stuff so they don’t have to. Thanks, Courtenay!”

 Karen Karbo

Author of In Praise of Difficult Women

“Courtenay Hameister wrote the following sentence and for this sentence alone she should be world famous: ‘Like the snowflake of the genital world, no two vaginas are ever alike.’ Her stories are honest, funny and touching. I love her work and so will you.”

 Mike Sacks

Author of Poking a Dead Frog: Conversations with Today’s Top Comedy Writers

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